


Are You Listening?

by ThatWinchesterGirl67



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Drunk Dean Winchester, Drunk praying, Love Confessions, M/M, Praying to Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWinchesterGirl67/pseuds/ThatWinchesterGirl67
Summary: All of Deans emotions seem to come out when he gets drunk, does praying to the person you love have the same rules as texting when drunk?





	Are You Listening?

**Author's Note:**

> So the “I’m either going out for ice-cream or to commit a crime. I’ll decide in the car.” line was from a list of prompt requests I did a while ago. I realize now it's slightly out of place in an angsty fic but I still think it's funny xD

Dean pulled open the fridge door, the cold air that hit his skin was a welcome feeling after yet another gruelling hunt. He grabbed a beer before closing the door again, popping off the cap and throwing it down onto the counter. A smirk spread across his face when he heard a faint flutter of wings from behind him. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw Cas standing behind him. He placed his bottle down on the counter and turned around so he was facing him.

“Uh hey, Cas.” He said clearing his throat.

Dean was suddenly very aware of how close the Angel standing was to him now that he was facing him. Cas’s face was only centimetres away from his own and he could practically feel his breath on his face.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean trailed his thumb along his jaw, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as his eyes quickly flicked down to Cas’ lips. He looked back up to his eyes hoping Cas hadn’t noticed.

“What’s up Cas?” Dean asked trying to act casual like his heart wasn’t ready to jump straight out of his chest.

“I finished the case I was working on with Charlie, I wanted to see if I could help out here,” Cas explained.

Neither of them had made an attempt to move or create more space between them and Dean’s heart was pounding against his ribs, he could barely catch his breath. Dean’s eyes fell down to Cas’s lips again, this time they stayed there. He fought back the urge to just lean forward and kiss them. Like he did everything they found themselves in a situation like this. They seemed to be even closer than before now. Cas’s eyes snapped to somewhere behind Dean, his body tensing up as his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s a distress signal on angel radio.” He said.

“Cas wai-”

Dean could even say anything else, he was gone as quickly as he had shown up. Dean turned back around letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding in.

“Damn it!” He shouted bring his fist down onto the counter, his nails biting into the skin on the palm of his hand.

Once again he had the perfect moment to tell Cas how he felt, to show Cas how he felt and he panicked and it had slipped through his fingers. Now Cas had run off to help heaven and he didn’t know how long it would be until he saw him again, for all he knew it could be months until he returned.

Dean lifted the beer bottle to his lips swallowing it all in almost one gulp. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand throwing the bottle back down on the counter with so much force he was surprised it didn’t shatter. Angerly he grabbed his leather jacket off the back of the chair and headed out of the room. Dean walked past Sam who was sitting at a table seemingly lost in his book as he headed for the door.

“Where are you going, Dean?” Sam called looking up from his book.

“I’m either going out for ice-cream or to commit a crime. I’ll decide in the car.” Dean replied walking out the front door.

“Well don’t get arrested because I ain’t bailing you out,” Sam shouted after him.

Dean slammed the door behind him his hands tightening around the keys as he walked towards the Impala. Dean stepped into the car and sunk into the familiar leather of the driver’s seat. He twisted the keys in the engine listening to it roar to life.

“At least you won’t disappear on me.” Dean laughed bitterly patting the steering wheel.

He pulled out onto the empty road and just started to drive. It was late and the streets were dimly lit but Dean just kept his eyes trained on the road in front of him. He didn’t know where he was going and he didn’t care. He just needed the comforting feeling of being behind the wheel. Eventually, the Impala came to a stop outside the local bar, a regular spot for Dean.

Sam didn’t bother to look up from his book when he heard the heavy door to the bunker creak open. Dean stumbled in, clinging to the railing as he carefully tried to walk down the stairs. He took each step slowly trying not to trip over his own feet. He fell against the wall using it to support him once he reached the bottom. The alcohol running through his veins made it hard for him to even see straight.

“So what was it? Ice-cream or a crime?”

“The bottom of a whiskey bottle. And probably several crimes.” Dean muttered finally pulling himself away from the wall.

“You look like shit Dean, go lay down before you break something.” Sam sighed, he was used to seeing his brother drunk but not like this. This was bad even for Dean.

Dean made his way into his room practically falling in the door and shrugged off his jacket throwing it down onto the chair. He sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand over his face. The room around him was already starting to spin making him feel nauseous. His head fell back making him stare up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If he was going to do this he was going to do it now.

“So I’m pretty drunk right now.” He admitted. “And I don’t know if prayers work the same way as texts with the "don’t do it while you’re drunk or you’ll regret it” thing but screw it because it’s too late now. Cas, you listening?“

He opened one eye peering around the room hoping to Cas standing there. Wishful thinking.

"So um, Cas there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time now. A really long time. I mean I’ve tried to tell you, I really have but every time I try something happens or I wait too long and the moments gone. Maybe I’m just afraid. Either way I always seem to screw it up, just like everything else. To be honest it scares the hell out me to think that I feel this way about someone.” Dean half laughed the nervous feeling of what he was doing finally catching up to him.

“Even thinking about a long-term relationship used to scare me but when I’m with you I’m not scared of it anymore. I mean I’d give it all up, all of this, the life, hunting, all of it just for a life with you. Hell, I’d buy a house with one of those stupid white picket fences for you. You have always been there for me, and I’d die for you. I know I always say it but I mean it, I really do. I’d do anything for you because I care about you.” Dean took a shaky breath. “Because I love you. I meant it. And I don’t mean any of that "I love you like a brother” crap either. I love you. More than anything, always have always will.“

He meant every word of it. He truly did. The feel of relief of having finally said it washed over Dean but was quickly replaced by fear of how Cas would respond. Dean looked around the room his eyes landing on the chair in the corner of the room but it was still empty. He could feel a lump forming in his throat, a sudden sinking feeling in his stomach. Why had he even thought he was going to show up? Now he just felt stupid. He had confessed everything Cas wasn’t going to respond. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way and now Dean had ruined everything they had.

"This was a bad idea you probably aren’t even listening. Maybe I shouldn’t do this while I’m drunk.”

Dean got to his feet and headed towards his bedroom door. He fought back tears suddenly regretting saying anything. He froze when his hand landed on the cold handle.

“I love you too Dean.”

 

 

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